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June 24, 2018

The hardest part about doing anything is getting started. Perhaps that’s why, even though I wrote my first real “joke” back when I was in college, it took me four years after I graduated to get up on stage for the first time.

(That joke, by the way, was about how Jesus was really a Mexican. If you ask me nicely, maybe I’ll tell it to you sometime).

That’s also why, even though I first thought to sit down and write this a long ti...

July 17, 2017

DEAR TOKEN: How can I help my friend see through her white privilege? Is this really anonymous? LOL.

-Anonymous

DEAR ANONYMOUS: That's a great question. And, yes, this really is anonymous. So I have no idea who you are, what you look like, or how your friend's white privilege is affecting you personally. But let's take a step back. What is white privilege anyway?

Here's a simple test that all white people can take to see if they...

July 3, 2017

I started "Dear Token" to answer questions that people were afraid to ask and to give unfiltered but easy to swallow advice. Recently I was asked to give a commencement address to a group of at-risk graduates.  These young men and women have endured more pain and rejection already in their lives than most of us will ever know.  

To be honest, I did not write the speech for those graduates.  I wrote it for myself.  They ins...

June 24, 2017

DEAR TOKEN: In recent years colleges and other venues have stopped inviting certain comics to them because of people's opinions of how dirty, vulgar, or offensive that comic can be. Do you think people have become more sensitive? And if so, why?

-Stephen Hands

DEAR STEPHEN: Have you ever heard an older person talk about how back in their day everything was so much tougher? They used to walk uphill both ways in the snow for miles...

June 24, 2017

DEAR TOKEN: Sometimes I notice myself over-thinking interactions with black people. I can become self-conscious of my word choice, inflection, and body language, so as not to offend them, and to be perceived as cool and as understanding of their experience as possible (and I recognize there is so much I can just never understand). I want to discuss this phenomenon with my black friends, but I don't want them to feel like I per...

June 24, 2017

DEAR TOKEN: With films like MOONLIGHT becoming mainstream and winning awards, is this the beginning of a paradigm shift in the definitions of black masculinity or simply an anomaly? And how can we bridge the gap between the black community and the LGBT community to be more inclusive and represented?
-OurStoriesMustBeTold

DEAR STORIES: Let me first say that the moment when Jordan Horowitz announced that the Academy Award for Bes...

June 24, 2017

DEAR TOKEN: Can I touch your hair? It looks awesome!
-PrettyPlease?

DEAR PRETTY: NO!
 
(As much as I want to, I can't in good conscience end this post there; but just know that getting this further breakdown is a gift meant to spare other ethnic people from my pain).
 
This is one of those questions that I get on a regular basis and, each time, it's a little more annoying than the last.  It's not quite as bad as "Oh you're a co...

June 20, 2017

Dear Token,

I am a straight, cisgender woman who has a lot of gay friends. We go to the clubs together, go to Pride together, and are generally together at most times. In short, I would probably be described as a fag hag. However, I am well aware that the idea of a "hag" is one that is not embraced as much with older gay men and can actually be frowned upon. Particularly within gay bars. Token, how can I be an ally for my frie...

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