Wrestling with Myself 4: Am I a Good Friend?
I've been wrestling a lot lately with my friends. (Let me rephrase because that either sounds sexy or childish, depending on your orientation and how hot you think my circle of friends is).
What I mean is, I've been wrestling with who should be in my friend group. Who are the people I should associate myself with and, maybe more importantly, who needs to get cut off?
I haven't always been the best tag team partner or teammate. There are times when I've let my pride keep me from investing in potentially profitable and productive relationships. I've thought of myself as better, more talented, not in need of help around some people who are light years ahead of where I am now. Had I been willing or able to see the big picture -- which is difficult when you can see past your own bullshit -- I would be in a different position today.
There's a lesson in there somewhere about not judging a book by its cover. But it's deeper than that. Once you get past the cover, how long are you supposed to keep reading?
So much of who we are and what we can accomplish is based on who we know and what level of influence we have over them, and vice versa. Having talent is important to find success in any industry; but it doesn't matter as much as the relationships you form along the way. Now I'm not one of these kumbaya dudes that thinks we can solve all our problems by finding a friend and hugging it out...
...but I have learned that, without the right crew surrounding you, it is virtually impossible to be your best self.
I've been cutting people out lately and not even telling them that they're cut out. They don't need to know. The truth is, if they cared, they wouldn't have to be cut off in the first place.
Any amount of energy you spend chasing people who don't want to be caught is wasted energy. If someone isn't interested in you, whether that's for sex or a job or a book club, move on. Period. Instead, spend that time you would've dedicated to them replacing them with 5 other people who actually fuck with you.
Pro wrestling is full of lessons about the importance of finding your people. Often a WWE Superstar's success comes with a little help from his or her friends. Whether it's to distract a referee so you can kick your opponent in the balls or it's to help get you over with the crowd using their skills on the microphone, your associates can make it a lot easier for you to do your job.
And, if you play your role properly, you make it easier for them to be successful as well. It's a win-win.